Guy's Morning Wood Granola

Did you ever wake up to Morning Wood?

If not, you’re clearly not starting your long, hard day satisfied!

This isn’t some weak, flaccid oat mix that goes soft in three minutes—this is Guy’s Morning Wood Granola, packed so full of nuts, you’ll be reconsidering your life choices after the first bite. Walnuts, pecans, sliced almonds, cashews, 100% natural crunchy peanut butter, and hulled pumpkin seeds come together in an omega-loaded sack of nutty goodness.

Morning Wood is so stacked, your jaw might get tired.

This isn’t just granola. It’s an experience. It’s the kind of wanton breakfast that leaves you satisfied, a little sweaty, and reaching for a cigarette.

And because the best nuts deserve the juiciest finish, we’re giving you a choice of raisins, dried cranberries, or sun-dried goji berries. Each one bursting with so much flavor, it’s like the nuts just blew a load straight into your mouth.

Let’s face it—this isn’t the same pathetic, limp, mass-produced oat mush you’ve been choking down that crumbles like a house of cards built by a guy with the shakes. Hell no!

While other granolas are busy playing with their oats, fillers, canola oil, and weak-ass sweeteners, we’re here to remind you what real satisfaction tastes like.

Toss that limp excuse for breakfast aside and fill your mouth with something truly satisfying.

If you’re not waking up to Morning Wood, what the hell are you even doing with your life?

WARNING:

Excessive consumption of Morning Wood may result in:

• Spontaneous moaning
• Tongue fatigue
• Uncontrollable urges to grab someone else’s Morning Wood
• Jealous partners wondering why you’re so damn satisfied in the morning

One bite of Guy's Morning Wood Granola, and you may never go soft again. Whether you're putting this on yogurt, serving it up in a bowl of milk or, just eating it right out of the sack, you're sure to be satisfied with the amount of nuts in each bite. We pulled back on the oats to lower the carbohydrates and use pure honey, vanilla and cinnamon for a taste so wholesome, we're proud to call it, Morning Wood!

So don’t just eat breakfast. Order a couple sacks of Guy’s Morning Wood Granola and get absolutely pleasured by it.

Base Ingredients: Assorted Tree Nuts: (Walnuts, Sliced Almonds, Pecans, and Cashews.) Organic Rolled Oats, Natural Peanut Butter, Pure Honey, Hulled Pumpkin Seeds, Egg White, Pure Vanilla Extract, Cinnamon and Salt.

Additional Ingredients by Selection: Choice of Raisins, Dried Cranberry or Sun Dried Goji Berries.

Allergen information: Contains peanuts, tree nuts and egg whites.